Garrison Keillor from CaglePost.com Columns by Garrison Keillor from CaglePost.com http://rss.caglepost.com/columns.aspx?name=Garrison+Keillor Tue, 30 Jun 2009 07:00:00 GMT http://backend.userland.com/rss RSS.NET: http://rss-net.sf.net/ Unalienable Rights Include Decent Potato Salad I walked the length of the westbound Lake Shore Limited as it left Albany last Sunday, six crowded coaches, and counted three Twitterers and a couple of phone texters, six laptoppers (two of whom were watching movies), four video gamers, and 27 peopl... http://www.caglepost.com/article/88d9d011-d594-4489-99fb-96921d390285.html Tue, 30 Jun 2009 07:00:00 GMT Fortress Of Solitude One short weekend, so much to do -- an invitation to go swimming at night by moonlight, the Iran protest march downtown with our mouths taped shut, a dance at the Eagles Club with a hot horn band playing '70s funk that propels people onto the dance f... http://www.caglepost.com/article/66beabfa-e333-4c97-9f9d-c6d7909cb3a4.html Tue, 23 Jun 2009 07:00:00 GMT Road-Tripping On Father's Day Don't bother calling to wish me a Happy Father's Day because I won't be here, kids, I've got the day off. I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky, and all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by. But I'm in Minnesota. ... http://www.caglepost.com/article/3ee2c4eb-d66f-4b7b-a8cb-6db3ef25d953.html Tue, 16 Jun 2009 07:00:00 GMT The Angel's Cocktail This world belongs to the young and the daring, the avid, the adventurous, and that's why one follows the saga of corporate bailouts with a certain trepidation. We're mortgaging the future and we are rescuing the stubborn and stupid. The cost of a go... http://www.caglepost.com/article/4b4e1769-1793-4dc4-bd09-fe2054950c0f.html Tue, 09 Jun 2009 07:00:00 GMT An Uplifting Performance The driest May in Minnesota since the Dust Bowl. Venerable GM slides into bankruptcy and you shudder for the old Pontiac dealers and the retirees in Michigan. In the middle of the night, an Airbus drops out of the air into the Atlantic Ocean and the ... http://www.caglepost.com/article/9da86996-7fc7-4fcc-b71c-3c44853b781e.html Tue, 02 Jun 2009 07:00:00 GMT A Tale Of Two Cities Memorial Day in Washington, and geese swimming in the great reflecting pool that reflects the Washington Monument or the Lincoln Memorial, depending on where you are standing, and busloads of tourists pulled up to the curbs. Heroic architecture every... http://www.caglepost.com/article/6ea3465f-747c-43a3-b8a5-07be58efd606.html Tue, 26 May 2009 07:00:00 GMT Stop The (Trouser) Presses! I come to London for the signage ("Danger: Men working overhead"), and to pick up a tube of Euthymol toothpaste and devour a cup of Mr. Whippy lemon ice and a package of chocolate HobNobs, and to enjoy the roomy taxicabs and the cabbies' no-hesitatio... http://www.caglepost.com/article/c814031f-a381-4382-8e0a-391449d839ea.html Tue, 19 May 2009 07:00:00 GMT We Are What We Are Only one out of five Americans is willing to describe himself or herself as a Republican these days, and frankly I am tempted to become one of them. For the variety, and because they need me and because when I heard former Vice President Cheney talk ... http://www.caglepost.com/article/4a6828a8-5d4e-48fe-99b3-691a2d3d2362.html Tue, 12 May 2009 07:00:00 GMT Drama For Mama I was going to visit my mother on Sunday and bring her a jonquil and a ballpoint pen for Mother's Day, but that's all off thanks to my brother, who is awaiting trial for mail fraud. His lawyers have asked me not to discuss his case, and so I won't, e... http://www.caglepost.com/article/ae6bc348-6f37-443b-b4e1-4635374b8614.html Tue, 05 May 2009 07:00:00 GMT Retribution Vs. Restoation I sat next to Ted Stevens at a Washington dinner years ago and found him unpleasant in a raspy, cartoonish way, but I was happy to see his conviction thrown out. A muddy case, a friend doing work on the senator's house perhaps in exchange for favors ... http://www.caglepost.com/article/cf785ca6-69ad-46bf-8d2c-0419ef498d4a.html Tue, 28 Apr 2009 07:00:00 GMT Strange New Word I am a poor wayfaring stranger traveling through this world of woe, but it's OK, I am well paid for the woe and I enjoy watching my fellow wayfarers, the road guys, the men who fly from town to town, talking on their cell phones, hustling software an... http://www.caglepost.com/article/45e0e163-5073-471e-b5b2-48a11350e49a.html Tue, 21 Apr 2009 07:00:00 GMT The Poet Gets The Girl April is Poetry Month, whatever that may mean to you, perhaps not much. Perhaps what with your nomination to be Assistant Secretary for Human Rights running into rough waters because of that silly song you sang at the company Christmas party in 1997 ... http://www.caglepost.com/article/616cce01-b94a-4cca-b19d-cd0958025cfa.html Tue, 14 Apr 2009 07:00:00 GMT Militia Report Makes Right-Wingers See Red I think they protest too much. The right-wingers, that is. They're barking mad in response to the latest perceived encroachment by government on their right to entertain daffy conspiracy theories. The offense? Some mid-level desk jockeys in the Misso... http://www.caglepost.com/article/c26395d8-ab77-42de-9fd8-a8357697c075.html Tue, 07 Apr 2009 07:00:00 GMT Playing Higher Taxes no Fun -- But Necessary If you're rich and think nobody loves you anymore, meet Rep. John Boehner. He's the House minority leader from Ohio who is anchoring the opposition to President Barack Obama's proposed tax hikes on households making more than $250,000 a year. Althoug... http://www.caglepost.com/article/3b710e00-b319-4d66-9e7a-dc5f6d0a6aa4.html Tue, 31 Mar 2009 07:00:00 GMT The Poetry Of Spring Spring is a time when we are one nation. In a few weeks, the South will head toward its air-conditioned caves and a cold summer chill will fall on San Francisco, but in spring and fall we are one people, more unum than pluribus, stepping gracefully t... http://www.caglepost.com/article/57b3280a-4d86-4c88-ba3c-96e168aed6ed.html Tue, 24 Mar 2009 07:00:00 GMT Disabilities And Delusions In hard times a man must consider new options, and right now I'm thinking about going on disability. I read in the Washington Post about the wonderful deals that police in Montgomery County, Md., negotiated for themselves way back when, whereby after... http://www.caglepost.com/article/a585e371-b47f-48f8-9348-4dfa1a0b672d.html Tue, 10 Mar 2009 07:00:00 GMT The Delicate Art Of Brotherly Love My brother Philip died in Wisconsin on Friday while I was in Rome, and after I got my ticket changed to fly back for the memorial service, I went into a church off the Piazza Navona and lit candles for his aching family and stood in the piazza beside... http://www.caglepost.com/article/31a999f2-740f-4ac4-a20f-a5c66169c757.html Tue, 03 Mar 2009 08:00:00 GMT Cold Comfort Some friends from the Confederacy came to visit us in St. Paul last week when the temperature was around zero and so we had to haul out electric blankets and crank the thermostat up to 68, but they still felt "chilled" and so I made them go for a wal... http://www.caglepost.com/article/472d5074-9542-4e10-8689-14af44989bc9.html Tue, 24 Feb 2009 08:00:00 GMT Upward And Onward I enjoy a well-crafted obituary as much as the next man, and now that people of my own generation (what????) are appearing there, the obituary page becomes closer and closer to my heart. Yesterday I thought I might have to write one for my older brot... http://www.caglepost.com/article/bc139b94-e576-4bcf-b20e-83eb20b70560.html Tue, 17 Feb 2009 08:00:00 GMT The Care And Feeding Of Ex-Celebrities The new musical that's moved into Washington -- New All-Star Cast! New And Cooler Songs! Awesome Dance Numbers! -- has bumped the old attractions off the avenue. The wax museum of Ann Coulter, the Fox vaudeville acts, the woofing of Rush and O'Reilly... http://www.caglepost.com/article/9ba48095-f529-4e0c-9c28-68df17ee22ac.html Tue, 10 Feb 2009 08:00:00 GMT Appreciation For A Great Appreciator Ten a.m. A phone call from my daughter's school, and instantly the father's mind goes to Dark Foreboding, but no -- this is her teacher calling to say that the child scored 96 on the spelling test. The child's instant reward is the phone call home an... http://www.caglepost.com/article/52858e15-8277-4417-9e78-baa3b0cc01ed.html Tue, 03 Feb 2009 08:00:00 GMT Inner Tranquility And Unread Books It is God that has made us and not we ourselves, we are his people and the sheep of his pasture, and George W. Bush is no longer the top sheep. Altogether a cause for rejoicing as we forge ahead in the struggle to achieve inner tranquility, which for... http://www.caglepost.com/article/2d2778bf-cdf4-4477-bd4b-50deec3b50bb.html Tue, 27 Jan 2009 08:00:00 GMT A Day To Remember One simply wanted to be present. Freezing cold or not, a crowd of 2 million, whatever -- solemn warnings about tight security, long lines, traffic jams, cell phones not working. In the end, one wanted to be there on the Mall before the Capitol on Tue... http://www.caglepost.com/article/e43fdb52-747b-46bf-9d30-cfe182ac6c5a.html Tue, 20 Jan 2009 08:00:00 GMT She Saw Her Pale Reflection In The Window I like this government report saying that more Americans than before are reading novels and short stories, 113 million, in fact. Fiction is my cash crop, and that's good news. Too bad, though, that the report was issued by the National Endowment for ... http://www.caglepost.com/article/8ea2edf1-3aee-4a4f-8db0-376b575ffbb7.html Tue, 13 Jan 2009 08:00:00 GMT The Perils And Joys Of Self-Esteem When you look at the audience numbers for TV and then add up the incarcerated felons, Alzheimer's patients and confirmed barflies in America, it dawns on you who is watching TV these days -- people unable to lead normal productive lives -- and yet th... http://www.caglepost.com/article/980ac196-5ff7-4bc8-a589-9198b5e2fa19.html Tue, 06 Jan 2009 08:00:00 GMT Paris A Fine Place To Wait Out The Big Belch Minnesotans are a humorous people and we are attempting to elect a comedian to the U.S. Senate, which is delicate work, as you might guess. You shouldn't sweep a comedian into office on a wave of public adulation any more than you should let him win ... http://www.caglepost.com/article/60712381-6ea2-48ae-9911-0f3dcd65950c.html Mon, 05 Jan 2009 08:00:00 GMT The Blessings Of Dumb Childlike Wonder It is the blessed Christmas season. But of course you know that. Unless you live ten miles up a box canyon deep in the Wasatch Range with only your dog Boomer and are demented from drinking bad water, you are inhaling Christmas night and day and "Ade... http://www.caglepost.com/article/15748bc1-d62a-4a3d-a7e7-9aeae0a3eae3.html Tue, 23 Dec 2008 08:00:00 GMT How An Airplane Toilet Can Ruin Your Life It is rather haunting, the notice above the Flush button in the toilet on the airliner, "Do Not Flush While Seated On Toilet." One imagines the engineers of the toilet running tests with flush dummies with big flat butts and the suction ripping the s... http://www.caglepost.com/article/7d8e486b-f0e1-485b-b01a-78a5ec738af8.html Tue, 16 Dec 2008 08:00:00 GMT Christmas In New York: Merry And Muscular The Christmas tree in Rice Park in St. Paul is taller than the tree at Rockefeller Center in New York, 90 feet compared to 72, but New York's is the Tree de la Tree, the Tree Iconic, the one that you'll see on national TV, just as the Tonys get the a... http://www.caglepost.com/article/fb23acd5-858b-4dd2-9142-e27c84ed6317.html Tue, 09 Dec 2008 08:00:00 GMT The Perils Of Public Passion I've been trying not to think about the man and woman from Iowa who had sex in the men's room at the Iowa-Minnesota football game in Minneapolis a week ago and to think about the environment instead, or the future of American fiction, but it is hard ... http://www.caglepost.com/article/c1d5fedd-7dad-4401-9d7e-53d04765818a.html Wed, 03 Dec 2008 08:00:00 GMT Cutting Costs In A Tough Economy I have bad news. In the midst of the worldwide economic meltdown we are experiencing these days, I have taken a hard look at revenue from this column and find that I am earning but a tiny fraction of the $6.5 million I had projected for 2008, which l... http://www.caglepost.com/article/e7ad2942-f93d-48e9-a21a-74c571ee5540.html Tue, 25 Nov 2008 08:00:00 GMT The Secret Of Happiness I don't know why flight attendants put a skinny plastic swizzle stick in your cup of coffee, but there it is, and the other day, I brought the coffee to my lips and stuck the stick way up into my nostril, which gives an odd sensation, pain and also s... http://www.caglepost.com/article/078fc01a-acab-4fd8-b94b-b42295fa7054.html Wed, 19 Nov 2008 08:00:00 GMT Sitting On Top Of The World Be happy, dear hearts, and allow yourselves a few more weeks of quiet exultation. It isn't gloating, it's satisfaction at a job well done. He was a superb candidate, serious, professorial but with a flashing grin and a buoyancy that comes from workin... http://www.caglepost.com/article/a5a80305-c022-45bd-8ac7-e5c859247d29.html Wed, 12 Nov 2008 08:00:00 GMT A Few Words For The Happy Couple A golden November day under a blue sky and an air of sweet amiability at the polls and at the end of the day, we elected the right guy, no doubt about it. Yes, we can and we did. A nation spread its wings and achieved altitude. Bravo, Barack, Mr. Ste... http://www.caglepost.com/article/f678814f-ccc8-4873-84cd-090ac6b13398.html Wed, 05 Nov 2008 08:00:00 GMT The Skinny Guy's Time Has Arrived I was messing around in Tulsa last week and got talking with a big burly man with a McCain/Palin pin on his blue blazer who told me he was descended from yellow-dog Democrats who thought the sun rose and set over FDR and Republicans were people who w... http://www.caglepost.com/article/a9243727-e89c-4c03-8cf5-a1424bbf4183.html Thu, 30 Oct 2008 07:00:00 GMT Looking Out For Abilene Spent a weekend in Abilene, Texas, a town that voted 75 percent for the Current Occupant in 2004, and nothing bad happened to me at all, they were as friendly as could be. Any time I sat down, they put food in front of me, and all in all they were wi... http://www.caglepost.com/article/d0cb8d9d-0d9e-4699-8498-6ac38e19b99e.html Wed, 22 Oct 2008 07:00:00 GMT Let The Leader Lead The Scripture reading in church Sunday gave me a jolt -- Exodus 32, which refers to the Chosen People wearing earrings, men as well as women, and I twitched when the lector read it. Yikes! Moses got his ears pierced? What else didn't we know??? And t... http://www.caglepost.com/article/670f74ed-3361-4a55-9bf7-796c8d29f1f8.html Tue, 14 Oct 2008 07:00:00 GMT The Best Of Times, The Worst Of Times We are a stalwart and stouthearted people, and never more so than in hard times. People weep in the dark and arise in the morning and go to work. The waves crash on your nest egg and a chunk is swept away and you put your salami sandwich in the brown... http://www.caglepost.com/article/c4c44e51-b5e4-48d3-8186-1660cc34d588.html Wed, 08 Oct 2008 07:00:00 GMT In Sunny Santa Monica, A New Appreciation Of Life I was in Santa Monica for a day last week, sampling baked figs at the farmers' market on the Third Street promenade, a sweet sunny day that makes an old Midwesterner like me a little nervous. We fear seduction. Some days in California are so tender a... http://www.caglepost.com/article/33661e17-0c7b-494c-a2cc-5115b3ae4697.html Tue, 30 Sep 2008 07:00:00 GMT When Gimlet Eyes Look The Other Way It's just human nature that some calamities register in the brain and others don't. The train engineer texting at the throttle ("HOW R U? C U L8R") and missing the red light and twenty-five people die in the crash -- oh God, that is way too real -- e... http://www.caglepost.com/article/406325d0-3a5e-45fb-9265-efbf1281f7ad.html Wed, 24 Sep 2008 07:00:00 GMT Moose On The Loose In Palin Country I saw two moose on a bike trail in Anchorage last week and did not kill either one of them, neither the cow nor her calf, though under the Bush Doctrine I certainly had a right to, since the cow could have charged and pinned me to a tree and danced m... http://www.caglepost.com/article/ecca933a-5f5c-4a9e-ad40-d1ee46e52ac0.html Tue, 16 Sep 2008 07:00:00 GMT The Bums Try An End Run So the Republicans have decided to run against themselves. The bums have tiptoed out the back door and circled around to the front and started yelling, "Throw the bums out!" They've been running Washington like a well-oiled machine to the point of in... http://www.caglepost.com/article/4e04da87-ffdd-4bc9-9728-d4bba435e555.html Tue, 09 Sep 2008 07:00:00 GMT Mosdirection In Minnesota The Republicans are meeting down the hill from my house, helicopters are pounding the air, and there are more suits on the streets and big black SUVs and a brownish cloud venting from the hockey arena where the convention is assembled. A large moment... http://www.caglepost.com/article/0e4f66e7-d520-4750-8f5d-9b9902fa4da9.html Wed, 03 Sep 2008 07:00:00 GMT Rolling With The Punches California is another country. You wake up in the morning and New York is already on its first coffee, and the first scandal has broken in Washington, one more Republican crony caught with his hand in the honey pot. It all feels very far away. You wa... http://www.caglepost.com/article/139acbcb-fc2a-4632-915b-3d5b0ce3dd27.html Tue, 26 Aug 2008 07:00:00 GMT On A Fair Footing I got to go to the Iowa State Fair on Sunday and eat a very excellent pork chop on a stick as I stood by the U.S. Marines booth, where various civilians lined up to do chin-ups on a high bar, counted off by a Marine whose T-shirt said "Pain Is Weakne... http://www.caglepost.com/article/b5236ca2-534a-4264-87ab-b6b028870f25.html Tue, 19 Aug 2008 07:00:00 GMT Bathing Beauty: An Idea For Cleansing America People accuse us old liberals of smarmy self-righteousness and God knows they are right. Four of us had lunch the other day and we agreed before we sat down: no politics. We know what we're going to say so why say it? Self-righteousness is a good old... http://www.caglepost.com/article/eac31457-077e-4223-97c4-7bb78a15d908.html Tue, 12 Aug 2008 07:00:00 GMT The Old Guy's Technical Foul It's a simple, cheerful life but with occasional grim complications that one simply ignores, such as mortality or the Seventies or the demise of the downtown department store. I love my downtown store, a block from the old stone courthouse where Alvi... http://www.caglepost.com/article/e30aea01-a636-4fa1-b894-c8d18e4e2728.html Tue, 05 Aug 2008 07:00:00 GMT No Time For Dithering Another paradise day in our old river town and we linger over supper in the backyard and talk about the dry weather and bats (Do they eat three thousand mosquitoes per night? No, says the family biologist.) and cousin Bruce's truck farm besieged by s... http://www.caglepost.com/article/bcdc4191-2287-4d7c-9723-2f86fa950746.html Tue, 29 Jul 2008 07:00:00 GMT Summer Civility And The Promise of More To Come New York in July, hot and breezy, the smell of pizza and coffee in the air, and on the subway one is surrounded by women in light summer dresses, the bare shoulders of elegant young urban women whose shoulders tell you they never toted barges or lift... http://www.caglepost.com/article/81edf454-b96f-4a69-a629-8399665546f8.html Tue, 22 Jul 2008 07:00:00 GMT In Sweet July, The Domb Stuff Doesn't Matter Summer nights! The fragrant dark descends, the night creatures chitter and chirrup, and we linger on the porch, a little wine in the glass, children coming and going, and we inhale the sweetness of life. In Pasadena, people are lined up outside a ban... http://www.caglepost.com/article/86bd00b2-bf8c-40ab-9b3e-c619dfd750ed.html Tue, 15 Jul 2008 07:00:00 GMT At 96, The Wonder Still Has Plenty To Say I stopped by to visit an old friend in Chicago last Sunday, and by "old" I mean 96 years but with all his faculties intact, which makes him a natural wonder you could exhibit on the carnival circuit for two bucks a head, children under ten admitted f... http://www.caglepost.com/article/2757d66c-48c2-42a9-bf72-54b5af601b86.html Tue, 08 Jul 2008 07:00:00 GMT A Beautiful Swing, A Compromised Future A couple hours to kill on a humid afternoon in a small town in Massachusetts and rather than sit looking at hotel wallpaper I took a little walk. A pretty town, well-kept, especially in the historic district where we tourists congregate -- old shopfr... http://www.caglepost.com/article/1060e8a1-a7e9-455c-96bc-d12830835370.html Tue, 01 Jul 2008 07:00:00 GMT Don't Go Mum On Us, Barack I was at a playground with my daughter the other day, reading "The Two Kinds of Decay" by Sarah Manguso (good book) and watching my girl as she stood at the perimeter of children playing and studied them, exactly as I did when I was a kid, working up... http://www.caglepost.com/article/366642a3-406c-4c7c-96b5-4e085c213b29.html Wed, 25 Jun 2008 07:00:00 GMT Eulogy For The Winnebago Eighty-six percent of the American people believe the price of gasoline will climb to five bucks a gallon this year, a big shift in public opinion from a year ago when most people felt that oil prices were spiking high and would soon return to normal... http://www.caglepost.com/article/87464e2b-d55d-469c-932d-35eb665fe978.html Tue, 17 Jun 2008 07:00:00 GMT A Duke Ellington For Modern Times Hot night, New York: a little breeze in the trees in the deep stone canyons as I look out my window, thousands of little lighted windows of private lives, one of which is mine. I'm reminded of this by the fact that a hundred feet away, a man stands a... http://www.caglepost.com/article/4b742338-49c8-4b87-929c-56277c122ee2.html Tue, 10 Jun 2008 07:00:00 GMT Summers's Here: Everybody In The Pool School is winding down and small children are staring out the windows at freedom and counting the days until the heavy hand of grammar and spelling will be lifted from their backs. My sandy-haired daughter dove into the pool on Memorial Day and has b... http://www.caglepost.com/article/219e0c93-717d-4a85-b771-941977857aea.html Tue, 03 Jun 2008 07:00:00 GMT The Roar of Hollow Patriotism Three-hundred thousand bikers spent Memorial Day weekend roaring around Washington in tribute to our war dead, and I stood on Constitution Avenue Sunday afternoon watching a river of them go by, waiting for a gap in the procession so I could cross ov... http://www.caglepost.com/article/3254b57f-65a2-4317-828e-dcf5317e1188.html Tue, 27 May 2008 07:00:00 GMT A Few Mutterings Over The Graves of Soldiers The Current Occupant tossed Nazis into a speech last week, something he rarely does since it only reminds people of Dick Cheney. He likened those who would negotiate with terrorists to those who tried to appease the Nazis, an awkward comparison, sinc... http://www.caglepost.com/article/5e107463-cfe5-43ec-bf2c-c4f811a0c403.html Tue, 20 May 2008 07:00:00 GMT Springtime Is Our Time And Viva Sweet Love The beauty of May is that the whole country is more or less on the same page, called Spring, and Spring is Spring, in Minnesota or California or Georgia or Vermont. Slightly different birds and flowers, same feeling. April is blowing snow up north, a... http://www.caglepost.com/article/e52b9907-15be-4b61-8d35-d8e2b21ae469.html Tue, 13 May 2008 07:00:00 GMT Nobody Loves You Like Mama Does The last time I witnessed a woman becoming a mother, it wasn't anything like the frilly sentiments of Mother's Day. She lay on her back, perspiring heavily and yelling, "Oh my God, why did you do this to me? I'll never forgive you in a hundred years.... http://www.caglepost.com/article/29819e46-8375-4923-8e94-daa0b59a6cb9.html Tue, 06 May 2008 07:00:00 GMT Planes And Purgatory: A Day At The Airport A cabdriver picked me up outside the Waffle House in Little Rock last Sunday and said so sweetly, "I hope you enjoyed your breakfast" - elongating the "joy" slightly and slurring the k in "breakfast" - and I said yes, but honestly, I don't really ass... http://www.caglepost.com/article/0e7d468e-5a7b-40c5-8d0e-80255d2b55d1.html Tue, 29 Apr 2008 07:00:00 GMT The Joys of A Structured Life April is a propulsive force in the north. Snow melts and the flotsam of spring appears, a child's mitten in the mud, a soap bubble ring, the lilac bushes bud, a light haze of green shows in the tops of trees. The cry of the lawn mower is heard. Matin... http://www.caglepost.com/article/3a152e6b-96d4-4718-841f-5d478de99281.html Tue, 22 Apr 2008 07:00:00 GMT Singing The Delta Blues I flew to New York on the day spring arrived and all along 90th Street a lovely blue flower called Pushkinia blossomed which is named for the poet who, according to Russians, cannot be translated into English, but Tchaikovsky made a gorgeous opera of... http://www.caglepost.com/article/bb57b4fc-3b40-403a-a9f5-31e0a2ab1874.html Tue, 15 Apr 2008 07:00:00 GMT Observations From The Back of The Line For some people, the urge to compete is very, very strong, such as the tall red-haired woman last Sunday morning at LaGuardia who cut in front of me at the boarding gate and did it so smoothly, expertly, no body contact, you have to assume she's been... http://www.caglepost.com/article/1aa92d36-2950-4c91-b908-6096c94d53ad.html Tue, 08 Apr 2008 07:00:00 GMT Theirs Not To Reason Why As our story continues, we find Senator McCain resting in his tent, plotting his fall campaign, as the Democrats continue the longest primary in human history, which has left the pundit club and the blogoswamp with nothing new to say whatsoever. You ... http://www.caglepost.com/article/81819103-d708-4c27-af12-9afa0bea5f16.html Tue, 01 Apr 2008 07:00:00 GMT In The Shadow Of The Volcano Here we are, ignorant peasants in our mud huts at the base of the volcano of finance, begging the gods to spare us as the ground shakes beneath our feet and economists examine the entrails of pigeons and the shamans of the Federal Reserve fling handf... http://www.caglepost.com/article/222b423c-24ca-4e27-b2c6-512278a3a848.html Tue, 25 Mar 2008 07:00:00 GMT A Pagan's Thoughts At Eastertide There was a small epiphany in church last week when we sang the recessional "O Sacred Head, Now Wounded," a German chorale in which we basses must jump around more limberly than we may be used to. A tough part compared to "When the Roll Is Called up ... http://www.caglepost.com/article/29a38f4b-5014-4bce-a23a-fd034e027d2d.html Tue, 18 Mar 2008 07:00:00 GMT Like It Was Great (Totally) It is unbearably bleak as winter lingers in March and a cold wind blows and the people on the obituary page seem better looking than yourself and your prostate feels like a hockey puck and you walk around with your wallet and car keys looking for you... http://www.caglepost.com/article/dfc46ca2-2984-4a61-b4ad-50c6b4e16e83.html Wed, 12 Mar 2008 07:00:00 GMT The Look Of Love On Feb. 2, French President Nicolas Sarkozy, 53, freshly divorced from his second wife in October, married supermodel and singer Carla Bruni, whom he met in November. The couple's impetuous courtship had been front-page news in France all winter, whi... http://www.caglepost.com/article/d630b46c-de0c-4765-ae01-a1d943d07d06.html Wed, 05 Mar 2008 08:00:00 GMT Why They Are Looking At The Skinny Guy Senator McCain is 71 and most likely he will be the last Old Guy presidential candidate for all of you boomers. Goodbye, Great White Father in Washington. It happens as you age: Other people get younger. The pilots flying you to New York are teenage... http://www.caglepost.com/article/f64ad05d-7ff6-4404-b8e9-8b3d585f1c91.html Tue, 26 Feb 2008 08:00:00 GMT Tired of Winter, Getting An MRI Driving down Highway 52 last Monday morning at high speed so as not to be late for an MRI of my cranium, I passed a semi as it was barreling through a snowdrift and suddenly I was in a cloud of whiteness, much like the Rapture will be, but with zero ... http://www.caglepost.com/article/d7335961-c3c8-4f22-950d-63d85cb5a743.html Wed, 20 Feb 2008 08:00:00 GMT A Sigh From Saginaw I have rather low self-esteem, which is a handicap for a man in this line of work whom you, dear reader, expect to give you 750 words in the strike zone about the economic stimulus package and all those little government checks going out to 130 milli... http://www.caglepost.com/article/4717781b-46bb-458f-971a-003c8cce1012.html Wed, 13 Feb 2008 08:00:00 GMT What You Don't Want, Throw Out Only February and already it's a fine political year here in our great roisterous republic with a carnival cast of colorful drones and smiley eminences huffing and puffing across the field of battle and tumbling off the cliff, leaving two serious con... http://www.caglepost.com/article/f4715dc2-1bb3-47e0-8149-0b99d176ced0.html Tue, 05 Feb 2008 08:00:00 GMT Where's St. Michael When You Really Need Him? Back in the day, we fundamentalists didn't mess with angels, sensing that Catholics owned the angel franchise, part of their dim smoky world of bead-rattling and hocus-pocus and lugubrious statuary, so instead we focused on the Holy Spirit who dwelt ... http://www.caglepost.com/article/983fd7f6-bcc6-4f51-91a6-bde89df6ab2b.html Wed, 30 Jan 2008 08:00:00 GMT What Is Wrong With Our Country Today? Let's take a break from the presidential primaries and talk for a moment about the bad cold that got its talons into me last week and is hanging on despite an onslaught of pharmaceuticals. My gosh, I have thrown fistfuls of acetaminophen, pheniramine... http://www.caglepost.com/article/79ca718c-5d5b-4ba7-8cc5-82c907511e03.html Tue, 22 Jan 2008 08:00:00 GMT Columnist Lashes Out At Candidates (Whackkk! Oooffffff) Another fine political year is upon us with seesaw races and fresh-baked dramas daily, high dudgeon, flights of fancy, tireless flesh-pressing, and thanks to the Web, you can feast on it anytime night or day, no need to sit by a TV and wait for the s... http://www.caglepost.com/article/65fb3d6c-b893-4f3b-9dcb-06eb9f907086.html Tue, 15 Jan 2008 08:00:00 GMT In Defence Of Stepping Out Of Line I went to see "Sweeney Todd" last week and the high point was after the movie when I headed for the men's room, passing a long line of women waiting to get into the women's, and when I got inside the men's, a tall woman in a long black coat emerged f... http://www.caglepost.com/article/29145aa9-e066-437a-afd6-5fc12e027fec.html Tue, 08 Jan 2008 08:00:00 GMT Just Follow The Map The cure for nostalgia is to read history, and the cure for holiday sentimentality is to listen for twenty-five minutes to an old friend telling you in a deep mournful voice how desolate his life feels to him right now with the air full of sugar and ... http://www.caglepost.com/article/123c18c9-516f-4d52-92a3-b90d5f132ed0.html Sat, 29 Dec 2007 08:00:00 GMT O Little Town Of Bethlehem Bethlehem, Pa. - I woke up in New York this morning - a good thing, since I had gone to bed in New York last night - and dressed and packed and hustled off to the subway. On the sidewalk on 86th Street and Central Park West, a newspaper vendor stood ... http://www.caglepost.com/article/d3f3f220-d459-4300-aca8-0050ec6d81d6.html Fri, 21 Dec 2007 08:00:00 GMT Stopping To Smell The Pine Boughs It was Christmas in the New York subways last week, musicians heading off to play Christmas gigs, and in the Times Square station a wild-haired old man out of a George Price cartoon pounded out "Winter Wonderland" on an electric organ, a rhythm attac... http://www.caglepost.com/article/c04aa0c9-54e1-4e84-bf81-277435603690.html Tue, 18 Dec 2007 08:00:00 GMT The Meaning Of Christmas (Yes, That One Again) And so Mr. Scrooge kept Christmas in his heart and became a friend and benefactor to all and also got his hair and eyebrows trimmed. He made Bob Cratchit a partner, and an orthopedic surgeon fixed Tiny Tim's gimpy leg so he could jump and run, and Sc... http://www.caglepost.com/article/8832aabe-0a52-496d-970a-b70b070fb836.html Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:00:00 GMT The Nativity in New York City I got to teach Episcopal Sunday school last week, a rare privilege, and it was in a New York church so the kids had plenty to say. Teenagers, and if you expect them to sit in rapt silence as you tick off points of theology, you're in the wrong place.... http://www.caglepost.com/article/147c3f1a-4394-4b3d-bfeb-7cb1d3422bf0.html Tue, 04 Dec 2007 08:00:00 GMT Merrily We Sail Along Over the Deep Blue Sea The sudden rise of Mike Huckabee in the Republican jousts is a cool plot turn, one that makes you lean forward and turn up the sound. An amiable, well-spoken Southern conservative with a Gomer Pyle face challenging the teeth-baring Giuliani and the s... http://www.caglepost.com/article/aca29505-4d9b-42b8-9c8a-66753ce67344.html Tue, 27 Nov 2007 08:00:00 GMT Why I Didn't Invest in Subprime Mortgages I sit in wonderment at the story of W. Lance Anderson, the president of NovaStar Financial in Kansas City, who while handing out subprime mortgages to any applicant wearing shoes and a shirt managed to sink the company's stock from $40 in June to $1.... http://www.caglepost.com/article/5f137820-62c0-4025-be48-094320cb615f.html Tue, 20 Nov 2007 08:00:00 GMT He Forgot His Cell Phone: A Sad Story A chill gray day under lowering skies and I left home without my cell phone and didn't go back for it - thought, Naw, I'll just use a pay phone if necessary - and felt awfully lost without it for the next 24 hours. The problem with pay phones is that... http://www.caglepost.com/article/e11b6f83-7640-4200-b93b-6628fd02c43b.html Tue, 13 Nov 2007 08:00:00 GMT Why You Didn't See the Raven this Year I was all set to be a raven for Halloween and don a long black cape and a beak and feathery wristlets, but I got stuck that afternoon at the neurologist's who I'd gone to see about chronic headaches and I sat in his waiting room reading old Peoples u... http://www.caglepost.com/article/2e41c101-c06d-4360-8d75-037f49aa27ab.html Tue, 06 Nov 2007 08:00:00 GMT Why Iowa Matters Bright chill October days of sweet dry smells, smoke and apples and pigskin, memories of touch football games on grassy fields strewn with dry leaves. ""You go deep,"" our QB said, thinking that a big lanky kid like me must be a good receiver, so I g... http://www.caglepost.com/article/25b060cc-dc0f-42e9-9ab5-4ef9cfa7705e.html Tue, 30 Oct 2007 07:00:00 GMT G.O.P. Recipe for Success: God and Marriage There is a natural division of labor in politics: The Republicans fuss about the sanctity of marriage and getting God back in the schools and the Democrats about health care and the $8 billion that vanished in Iraq, and so far the Republicans are doi... http://www.caglepost.com/article/2f313ff0-ed59-4052-b212-2ae4448e198e.html Tue, 23 Oct 2007 07:00:00 GMT Went to Baltimore and Saw It Was Good In Baltimore with friends Sunday morning, a splendid fall day under blue skies, we marched off to the nearest church and found ourselves in an old brownstone temple of 1852, wooden box pews, stained glass on all sides, old tiled floor, for a high Ang... http://www.caglepost.com/article/3435057f-0ffe-4fad-869f-d1e0a07a8141.html Tue, 16 Oct 2007 07:00:00 GMT October Heat Wave Hits Minnesota as Stanford Beats USC It was a big week, what with Stanford beating USC in football, of all things, and with a second-string quarterback starting his first college game, and on the same day political riots in Bern complete with rock throwing and tear gas - the Swiss! Acti... http://www.caglepost.com/article/af8bfef0-7602-4e7c-8c41-dd03c074bda4.html Tue, 09 Oct 2007 07:00:00 GMT Finding St. Paul on the Road Sitting in Cleveland, waiting for a plane, I reached in my pocket for scrap paper to write a phone number on and found the epistle for last Sunday. St. Paul said, ""As for those who in the present day are rich, command them not to be haughty, or to s... http://www.caglepost.com/article/350ec470-8360-4b77-a72c-b01f91c2c633.html Tue, 02 Oct 2007 07:00:00 GMT It is Never Too Late to Change Your Mind I am sorry, Evian and San Pellegrino and Dasani and all the other bottled waters out there - Aqua Velva, Wells Fargo, Muddy Waters, Joan Rivers, Jerry Springer, whatever - but the current campaign against paying good money for bottled water when tap ... http://www.caglepost.com/article/702fa9d6-ef37-4414-8e66-6a686ff495a6.html Tue, 25 Sep 2007 07:00:00 GMT September: Time to Lighten Up and Get a Grip That crisp, clean, dry smell of autumn is in the air, so stunning and surprising every year, a smell forever connected to bright colors and fresh apples and cool grass with beads of dew and the eagerness of a boy, pencil box and tablet in hand, wendi... http://www.caglepost.com/article/04836f55-0c88-48af-8e81-43c41f0949bb.html Tue, 18 Sep 2007 07:00:00 GMT The Great Tenor Stood and Wept for Us I saw Pavarotti sing ""Pagliacci"" at Carnegie Hall fifteen years ago and it was pretty good. The great man was a good hundred pounds over his fighting weight and he perspired heavily, but when it came time for him to stand and deliver ""Vesti la giu... http://www.caglepost.com/article/3a4a8664-70b7-48de-80d9-d6d5c0ac3556.html Tue, 11 Sep 2007 07:00:00 GMT A Man is Hurled from His Perch; Life Goes On You do not want people to think of the Republican Party every time they step into a public toilet and so the gentleman had to go and why not dispatch him immediately? Why make him stumble through a week of contrition on cable TV and explain himself i... http://www.caglepost.com/article/cd668068-3ef8-40e2-b184-4e2f33ca29d9.html Tue, 04 Sep 2007 07:00:00 GMT A Good Knock on the Head Clarifies Everything I live in a 1911 house built for a family that had a cook and a housemaid who were short, coming from undernourished countries like Ireland and Sweden, so the back stairway has low clearances, where Mary Margaret or Inga used to hustle down to fix br... http://www.caglepost.com/article/abed24e1-e6e7-4a1c-b066-a83ccd801d9b.html Tue, 28 Aug 2007 07:00:00 GMT Columnist Issues Stiff Warning to Readers They put Jose Padilla away for having filled out an application form to attend an al-Qaida training camp, a milestone in criminal-conspiracy law that makes me wonder about you readers and what you might do that some ambitious prosecutor could trace b... http://www.caglepost.com/article/e1a75ec7-563a-4ec3-b0cf-afa8877514b2.html Tue, 21 Aug 2007 07:00:00 GMT The Master Woodsman Takes a Hike What truly cheers me up through these dog days of summer is the thought that two old friends of mine are up north on a canoe trip in the Boundary Waters Canoe Area and that I am not there with them. I am here, reading the paper, and if I wanted to go... http://www.caglepost.com/article/cf0c8b2b-8d39-4ecd-a010-9cf03f6be729.html Tue, 14 Aug 2007 07:00:00 GMT Recipe for Avoiding Risky Bridges: Hold the Mayo When the bridge collapsed in Minneapolis, several people called me to see if I was okay, and I was in New York, standing in line at H&H Bagels at 80th and Broadway, which came as a disappointment to my friends, calling to commiserate about a tragedy,... http://www.caglepost.com/article/2ab6c005-fd54-49e0-ada6-6b1ef6f5379e.html Tue, 07 Aug 2007 07:00:00 GMT Getting Worked Up Over a Down Market It's hard to photograph a falling stock market, so the stories about the big Dow Jones plunge showed solemn-faced traders on the floor of the New York exchange or an electronic news banner in Times Square. The banner (what you could see of it) read, ... http://www.caglepost.com/article/239211c2-73bb-42b2-9605-006447eb6498.html Tue, 31 Jul 2007 07:00:00 GMT

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